Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

In December 2014 I delivered a keynote at FailingForward.
This one was special for me, as my 12 year old son joined me on stage.

Here are the slides:

I already blogged about the preparation and Joppe’s (big) part in the preparation.

We found out the video is not working on a tablet or phone. Probably due to copyright and the fact that Youtube only wants to show video’s if it can show ads before.
(The video was created with IPhoto on a mac. If you have an idea, how we can solve this please let us know.)
If you can see the video and you like it, will you like it on youtube, that is something my children see also.

 

Let’s look back at what the year that 2014 brought us…

  • Just like in 2013 we have published on Retroflection one tweet every day to make people think. Started on the 1ste of Januari 2010. In 2014, we added 15 people.
    A big thanks to our 73 people Retroflection team. (That said we always look for people who can bring new questions and statements …)
  • After the strong CoachRetreats year in 2013, Oana and me slowed down a little. That resulted in only 6 CoachRetreats in 2014. The good part for me, is that these happened without any support of me. Self-organisation at it’s best. Now it’s time to find more people to organize CoachRetreats in other cities/countries. A big thank you to Oana and all local organizers for all their work in 2014.
  • This year thoughtJockey.org  did not get much attention, although the trust experience still proves to be OK. And again, I can still stand behind what is written.
  • Who is agile in Australia (and New Zealand) was published.
  • I made sure that I don’t receive any royalties from the current local country versions of who is agile as the current books are also really self-organizing teams.
  • I failed in publishing my books on amazon. Shame on me.
  • As always I keep investing in myself, I spend 26 days learning new skills at conferences and training.
  • A big thanks to all the conferences that invited me to speak. Thank you for your trust. I had a wonderful time at each and every event I was. I was most impressed by a bunch of highschool kids that are using scrum to learn chemistry. (I learned about DOF from them.)
  • As you can see in this years video, I did a presentation with my 12 year old son at Failing.Forward. it was a real nice experiment, especially as he did not yet have English at school and the conference was in English. The standing ovation he received at the end, told us it was a successful experiment. You can read about it (in Dutch) here
  • I have stepped 4.730.443 steps this year. That is 5.795 km, or 601 km less than last year, probably due to the fact I did not run this year.  I also had two pair of shoes that completely broke down on me. Even when I was living of wellfare, I never had that. I guess the quality of cheap shoes has gone down dramatically… (Sorry Guido, I’m one of these men, who don’t like to spend money on quality shoes..) Or maybe that is because I did 5795 floors, which was 661 more then last year.
  • This year I found a developer helping me out to relaunch the PairCoaching community site. He has trouble setting up a wiki for the PairCoaching domain. Is there anyone who has experience with a setting up an open wiki, who wants to help out? The PairCoaching community will love you for it.
  • I started coaching CoderDojo and even took on the role of LeadCoach. My three children joined and two of them have brought in their own friends.
  • For my hometown Gent, this was a sad year, we have lost quite a few people that felt part of our town. I’m personally most shaken by the loss of Luc De Vos, an artists that I knew before he even made his first record, and that has inspired me in many many ways. It was also one of his songs that inspired us in 2007 to create our first New Years video. We do pray ourself lucky we saw his last concert at the Gentse Feesten. To remember him we also played one of his songs during a x-mas party with my son and sister. 

On a personal level, we now have 2 children with a double digit number.

  • Geike at age 7 already knowing very well what she wants and does not want to do.
  • Bent going alone to school by bike. Sometimes coming home alone and already studying before we come home.
  • Joppe going to a bigger school, 7 kilometers by bike with a bunch of friends. What made me most proud was he stayed with a friend who fell on the way to school, risking to be late for a test. Life is all about priorities. He has his priorities right.

 The plans for our new home got accepted and although we did lose a lot of time for multiple reasons. We did make a progress and looking forward to see the new house grow this year.

Yves

 

Last week I spoke at Failing.FWD
Although I speak regular at many events around the world, this was a special one for me.

Partly because it was about failing. Dealing with failure and seeing failure as something positive has been one of my favourite topics since I burned down my parents house in 1991.

Yet that was not the main reason why this presentation was special.
I had a co-presentor. Now for those who follow me, know I make a lot of publicity for PairCoaching, so having a PairPresentor is also nothing new. What made it special, was it was my 12 year old son who joined me on stage.
And we did the presentation in English. A language he did not learn at school yet. So his English is mainly “television & music” English. Ah, it’s wonderful to live in a country where most television has subtitles and is not dubbed.

During the day and the weeks before I received a lot of questions from friends about this presentation, I wanted to group some of the answers here.

How were you invited to this conference?
As Greet De Keyser said in her presentation, people should ask what they want.
When I saw the program of the Failing.FWD conference, I tweeted something like: Damned this is a conference I would have wanted to talk. And then Karen one of the organizers replied: oh you were on our list and we still have an open spot.
Getting what you want, is that simple!

Did they agree on bringing your son?
This is a nice example of “asking for forgiveness instead of begging for permission“.  I’m a professional speaker. It’s my responsibility to make a great talk. I don’t need to ask people if the content or style of my talk is ok.
yes, I did tell Karen I wanted to bring my son and I told her it was possible that he would be on stage with me. I guess, she trusted me. A BIG THANK YOU to Karen, Ann and the full Failing.FWD team for trusting me.

How did you prepare?
The million dollar question.
After I got accepted and before I started to prepare my talk, I received an e-mail from Joppe’s school that the school would be on strike.  So I asked Joppe  if he wanted to join me in going to a conference -that was in English-. I assumed his English would have been good enough to follow a few sessions. He said yes. And he said yes with an enthusiasm, that triggered me in asking him if he wanted to join me on stage. Without blinking he said yes. I replied, you realise we will talk in English, he looked at me and said yes with a big smile on his face. Ah, the youth and it’s innocents enthusiasm.

I prepared this talk like I prepared all my talks.

– I created the draft of the presentation on index cards. (alone)
– Then I rehearsed the presentation using cards (alone) a first time. (And adjusted the cards.)

I did these steps alone, not because I did not trust him.

In 2011 he helped a lot in creating our joined presentation about our life in Bordeaux, I knew having helping me to create the presentation would be a great asset. I did it alone because he still had some large tests at school and my partner did not want that I distracted him. (WorkLife balance is also challenge for him…)

Then I created slides from my cards. I had +40 slides for a 20 minute presentation. Although that scared a few presenters around me, it’s part of my presentation style, which uses a mix of presentation Zen, Pecha Kucha and training from the back of the room.

I tried it a few times alone and then talked with Joppe about it. Just like last time, he had some great idea’s and the presentation grew. And then last Friday we rehearsed a few times & some more on Saturday. The first time saturday morning, was one of the first times the rest of the family joined in watching and he froze. he stopped after 5 minutes and refused to continue.
We talked a little bit about what to do when this would happen at the conference.
I still don’t know exactly what happened, yet I don’t want to pressure him in sharing something that scared him. I did tell him to not worry, if it would happen on stage, I would take over.

Next time we rehearsed the whole family was out. Although they came home while we were halfway, this time he continued and everything was fine.
In the meanwhile I was a more worried about the nr of slides (we had already 50 by now.) I got worried because a lama listening to the name Sofie (or is it a Sofie listen to the name Lama?) asked me about the speed of the presentation.
Sofie is the kind of women that with just a few words turns my world up side down (no, not that kind of upside down.)
I’m the kind of man that has a big EGO, yet I also know that I need to listen to women smarter then me. (I live with two of these)
In the dry-runs with Joppe, I realised that Sofie was right. In some places the speed was wrong.

So on Sunday, me and Joppe we worked on the pace and the order of one part of the presentation. Joppe’s help was crucial here, although at first I thought he did not well remember some of his lines, he made me realise that I got some parts mixed up.
So I went back to my walking desk and started to type out that part of the presentation. It was hard, now Joppe & Sofie were independently of each other partnering up “against me”, yet more importantly in favour of a great presentation.

It was already 15:00 and we needed to leave. I had agreed with the people from Failing.FWd we could do a try out on the real stage.
And then everything fell together, yet when we tried it out, I noticed again it was hard to remember the correct order (remember we had already been practising this talk a dozen times.)
And then I did the probably the opposite of what Sofie would have done, I added 3 more slides. And boom, it felt right. No time to rehearse the full presentation. I uploaded the slides to Slideshare, loaded the luggage in the car while dropbox synced and of we left for Genk. We were half an hour late, yet the lovely Ann Dries from Failing.FWD came out to let us practise on the real stage.

I wanted to do this, so Joppe could feel the stage and I hoped that feeling this he would talk louder. Joppe is rather introvert and when he talks to me, while other adults are in the room, I can hardly understand him. Ok, this is probably partly due to hearing loss as a DJ and some other ear damage, yet he talks rather quite. We practised a full Dry Run, without microphones and with my computer in front of us. I asked him to talk louder then he did and probably wanted.
We agreed with An that we would practise another time Monday morning , now with microphones etc etc..

Although lots of things went wrong (I’ll blog about these in the next days), we had a blast on stage.
Joppe spoke loud enough and it felt to me that the audience loved his style, right from the start.

So it was no surprise to me he got a standing ovation of the full audience.

Thank you Filip Bunker from Pitslamp for the great pictures

 

For me it seemed that at #ALE14, failing was one of the themes.

When I noticed that many people said: yes talking about failing is easy when it’s only a small failure, but what about a real big failure?
That’s the moment I decided to have a lightning talk about the moment I burned down my parents house in 1991.


The people that know me, know, I have been talking very openly about this event for years. I even did a talk at a few agile conferences called: what I learned from burning down my parents house.

Yet at #ALE14 talking about it (almost unprepared) on stage and feeling the reactions, made me very emotional.
Thank you. I’m still get tears in my eyes when I think about the support I felt from the audience .

As a thank you, I want to talk some more about failures.
About some of my failures during #ALE14. I learned from the fire that failing is OK. And although I learned that from a big event, I want to use the small failures I made at ALE14 to talk about how I deal with failures now.

It started with my proposal for ALE14.
I made 3 proposals for ALE14. They all needed more work. Work I did not do: FAILURE I

I don’t know exactly why it happened, yet I also did not follow up on these proposals: FAILURE II

I also got feedback on one of them, feedback I did not understand. I asked a question. And did not follow up on that either. > FAILURE III

As a result my sessions got rejected. (One session got resurrected during my holiday, I guess I was lucky)

Last year I did sponsor ALE13 to promote the idea of PairCoaching. This year I forgot to contact the organizers FAILURE IV
On top they decided not to contact the old sponsors, and when I found out, I left it like that (FAILURE V)

I knew already for a very long time I wanted to go to ALE in 2014, yet I only booked my plane like in the last week FAILURE VI

At the first edition of ALE, I shared a room with Chris Matts and that was a wonderful experience. So ever since I decided to do this again when I can, only know I completely forgot with who I would share a room this year FAILURE VII

After a day or so and a few embarrassing tweets where I had to acknowledge this, I finally realised I found the person thanks to a message on linkedin and I found back I did that with Sergey (For me FAILURE VIII as I should have realised this earlier)

I thought I had the address of our apartment noted in my agenda, turns out that was of the venue FAILURE IX

The address I did found back while being outside the hotel, was not complete and did not work with google maps FAILURE X

In the end I never paid Sergey (FAILURE XI)

And while writing this blogpost, I realised I still did not mail Sergey to fix this FAILURE XII

Also with Sergey we hardly talked when we came at the apartment so my apartment sharing did not get the results as before . that is because we did not really exchange expectations FAILURE XIII

When I arrived in Krakow I was extremely tired and most of the first day, I felt I was in zombie mode FAILURE XIV

At the last day, when I did my 30 second pitch for my talk, I asked people to think about a bad habit, and then I asked them to share it with a neighbour. That was bad. I should have said: if you feel comfortable, it would be nice if you can share it with someone else in the room, that you trust. Asking people to share a bad habit with a random stranger, is good for some people, yet others prefer it do it with someone they know. Thank you Paul Klipp for calling me out on this. > Failure XV

I have not posted the blog post about the ALE14 books yet as I promised. >> FAILURE XVI
And the biggest of it all: I did not call my children on the first 2 days while I was at ALE14. >> FAILURE XVII
I can continue for a while like this, and I already know what the default reaction of a lot of people will be: Yves these are not all your fault. Some of them could be blamed on -FILL IN THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BLAME-

I don’t play that game. I prefer to blame myself. Not because I’m on the SHAME stage of the responsibility model.
I do that because if I look at a situation from a point of view that I failed, I can also see what action I can take to avoid this in the future.
And that is the game I’m playing.

This is why I like to say: “blame it on me”, some people think it’s a joke. It’s not. I like to be blamed. Especially when the critic is concrete. That means I can look at the situation, see my part in it and turn it around.

So, where did you fail lately?

A few days ago, my twitter friend (How do we call this, a Twiend?) Lamazone, asked the question:

“Dear entrepreneurs , young and experienced, how do you network?”

She received some great answers, yet I noticed that I network in a different way.
When I look at networking, I never see this as a way to find new customers. For me, networking is about connecting with people. Getting to know new people and learn from them. And in that sense, like Rosemie Callewaert  wrote, you can’t do “no networking”.

On top, I think that networking happens differently for introverts and extroverts.
For clarity, the definition between introvert and extrovert that I use, is where do we get our energy from.

An extrovert, gets her energy from connecting with people.
And introvert, gets her energy from being alone. It’s not that an introvert can’t connect with people. it’s that this costs her a lots of energy.

When I was in school I was  100% introvert, I spend most of my personal time alone reading books.
Today, I  have changed a bit in a sense that how I behave really depends on the context.

In some context, I will go back to my old behaviour and I need alone time to charge energy.
In another context, f ex an agile conference, with a lot of friends, I will spend hours talking, discussing etc…
In contrast to a full introvert, at agile conferences, I will actually get energy from these discussions. Which is why I can hang around in a bar till 3 am, and get up at 7 am, full of energy. (the fact I don’t drink any alcohol helps too ;-) )

Another aspect that has a huge impact on how I network, is my personal situation:

As a father I want to spend a part of my time with my three rather young children (11,9,6).
On top of that my partner works with people who have autism and is doing that also at evenings and weekends.
Since 1998, I have my own company, which means that next to networking, I also need to work for clients and run my own business.
Some of my friends say that work-life balance does not exist. And yes, I do believe that all aspects of my life are mingled. (Or fused as Jurgen calls it so nicely.)
And yet, I have to prioritise where I spend my time on.
When my wife has an evening, shift, I can’t put my kids in bed and be at evening event.
This means that integrating work-life has some limits for me (this might be different from you)

And thus I started looking for other ways to network. Either take my family with me, or find ways how I can do some of the networking at other moments, or from home.
This is the list I gave to Sofie.

A: At the clients I work, I  have lunch with people. One on one conversations to build relations.
I go very far in that, I have lunch with people from my teams, yet also outside these teams. Most of the time I pay for these lunches. I learn something in most of the lunches.

B: lunch with a not so stranger: at least once a month, I have lunch with people I used to meet professionally. Having lunch during the day, is now working better then going to evening events. (I used to prefer these on the nights my partner was working late, now I take care of my kids…)

C: I follow a lot of courses, both in as outside my expertise. Partly to learn, partly to meet people with who I share an interest. (As Ine Matuvu Dehandschutter said)

D: I give a lot of presentations myself. After them people come to me. And they ask me things, makes it easier when I am in an introverted mood.

E: I give Free Life Time support on everything I do. That way I help people and my network grows.

F: When people ask me a question, I first wonder, who would be a better person to answer this question. When I find someone, I link these people.  Even if I don’t know the person who I think could have a better answer. This way I make my network stronger and I delegate work. (Which is how I keep my own time under control) When the other person does not want to answer, I will still give an answer. yet that happens les then 20% of the time.

G: I’m active on mailing lists and other online groups, to answer questions from people.

H: Because of conferences and mailing lists, most of my network is outside Belgium. I stay connected with them using twitter and facebook. It’s not as good as having a coffee or lunch, yet it keeps a high trust relation with many people.

I: When I read a book I like, I keep a log of things I don’t understand while reading. When thing are not answered at the end (which usually is, as I ‘m not the smartest person there is.) then I contact the author and ask her my questions.
Using the author as an extended part of my brain.

J: When people do something I like: I thank them for that. When I can’t do that myself, because of time or place difficulties, I buy a book on amazon that I think they will like. I never tell them it’s coming, I just send it to their office.
(If they like it, I ‘m asking them now to pay it forward and send a book to someone they think does something nice/great.
And yes I even do that with people I have never met.

K: After I had a conversation with someone, I connect with them on linkedin. (yet, I never connect with people I never met.)

L: lean coffee’s: either organise one when I’m at a conference or follow the once that get’s organised in the cities I am.

M: When someone I know, went to an event or training I could no go to, I ask whist she learned there and we have a conversation about that. (Thank you Chris Matts for this powerful trick.)

N: When I meet someone new or see someone back, I try to ask them: what did you recently learn that you think I should learn.

O: I launch a lot of community events, where I actively look who can help me. Learning and connecting while doing still works best for me. In other words, I grow community builders.

P: I look what my problem is and then I ask for help to anyone I think that can help me. Even if that means contacting some famous (agile) person that I never met before on or offline. 80% of the people help me and a lot became friends.
(People sometimes tell me, for you it’s easy as you know all these people. No, I usually don’t know before and NO it’s not easy. I have to overcome my own shininess all the time. (Thank god for e-mail, which makes it easier…)

Q: when I read a book and I love the content and want to learn it better, I make a presentation about it. Explaining something from someone else, makes me understand it better. And it helps me connecting with new people. A huge thank you to Pascal Van Cauwenberghe for that.

R: I don’t look to create my own content, I prefer to work as a ThoughtJockey and promote idea’s of others.

S: when I go to a conference, when my family can’t join, I share a room with anyone. There is something magic about sharing a room (and if needed a bed..)

T: I try to listen more then talking, which I don’t always succeed, as this post is a nice example of ;-)

U: I also share my mistakes. Nothing creates more connection as being open about the failures in my life.

V: I create event types like CoachRetreat : where I look for other facilitators who take it around the world.

W: I created a serie of books about interesting people: who is agile

>> Yes that is a lot of ideas: where do I keep time?  Simple, most of these things I can do either on a train or in the evening at home, when my family sleeps. It’s not that nice for my partner I don’t go to bed when she does, yet I do sleep at home most of the nights. That’s a lot more then some of my peer agile friends….
Oh I and I do all of this while walking on my walking desk, which gives me the energy to do this

;-)

 

These are the slides fro my GrowthHacking presentation about hacking my eduction.

 

What a year 2013 has been.

At it’s start, I thought this was going to be a slow year.

 It started with a client who had financial troubles. As any coach will tell you, it does not make any sense to help people working better together, when they worry if they can keep their job.

And yet I had faith for my business, although that could have been inspired by visiting the holy wall in Israel before delivering a personal agility workshop ;-)

And what a year it became…

  • We have published on Retroflection one tweet every day to make people think. Started on the 1ste of Januari 2010 and still going strong.
    A big thanks to our 58 people big Retroflection team. (That said I always look for people who can bring new questions and statements …)
  • We had 9 CoachRetreats organized in 6 countries. A HUGE thank you to Oana Juncu who is the driving force behind this.
    Another big thanks (just a little bit smaller then the one for Oana) for all the local organizers.
    As already 4 CoachRetreat’s are planned for the start of 2014, CoachRetreat seems to take off. My personal goal for 2014, is to train as many women CoachRetreat facilitators as men.
  • ThoughtJockey.org was launched as a trust experience and so far, I can still stand behing what is written.
  • Thanks to some more help, 3 more books were published with my name on it.
  •  A client where I did a small assignment to help a team split in two, turned into a big assignment. We started a re-organization of a 150 people company. I have now trained 4 feature teams and started a traject with the executive committee. A big thank you to Hans Vranken (CEO) & Nathalie Servranckx (CIO) for trusting me. An even bigger thanks to the teams doing all the hard work, in ever changing circumstances.
  • We put the PragAuthor.com project in the freezer. I hope to unfreeze it as an open-source project, when my WIP is lower.
  • I helped out my friends of co-learning with 2 Budget Games: one in Aalbeke and one in Heule
    Thank you Jurgen De Smet, Erik Talboom, Luke Hohman ,  all co-facilitators. A big applause for the first time facilitators of the city of Kortrijk. Wow.
    If you like BudgetGames/Innovation games, please contact Luke or me, as we are looking for 1000, yes thousand people for BG in San Jose at the end of Januari 2014)
  • For my personal training, I wanted to learn about Tribes and squads from the sources and I worked a week at Spotify
    A thank you to Henrik Kniberg for bringing me in contact with Spotify. A bigger thank you to Joakim Sunden, Christian Vikström, Jimmy Janlén for letting me around your Spotify teams and learn at the heart of your tribes and squads.
  • Problem Solving Leadership: one of these trainings that has a huge impact, for years to come. Thank you Jerry Weinberg, Johanna Rothman, Esther Derby for such a wonderful experience. Thank you my co-participants for a wonderful week
  • All the conferences that invited me. Thank you for your trust. I had a wonderful time at each and every event I was.
  • Dear smaller clients, I did no have much time for you, yet each of you gave me so much energy and idea’s. Thank you.
  • Personal Coaching session, I’m probably most proud of this work:
    • A person who returned to his previous job after figuring out, that was better suited.
    • A few persons who changed jobs
    • One person moved to another country
    • One person contacted after every coaching session, the next day. He had already done what he had promised to do by the next session and in most cases, had already gone a few steps further.
    • Even better are the people, who found a better work-life-balance and because of that, became more productive.
  • Thanks to my own investment in a walkingdesk, I have stepped + 4.000 KM this year, most of these while working at home.  For those who wonder that is +5.500.000 steps. (This also means I worked to much :-( )
  • I tried to give away the PairCoaching.net domain, I failed to create a community around it.
  • I sponsored ALE2013 to make publicity for the PairCoaching concept 
  • I was blown away by three great books. ( I read more but these three are amazing books)
  • Three great projects I supported this year:
    • RobotTurtles to teach young children (from 3 year old till 10) the basics of programming
    • Programming For kids: a book to teach children (as young as 8 year old) how to programming in Ruby
    • Rethoric: a game to teach people (children + adults) a better way of talking in public

And this is just (yes one of the few places where just is the correct word) the professional side.

On a personal level, we now have 3 children in school.

  • Geike learning how to read and write.
  • Bent working really hard and great at reminding me to slow down.
  • Joppe finding his way in life, enjoying friendship and gradually receiving more freedom.

If I wanted signs that my children will turn out ok, I have now all I need: at the latest family party, they all started dancing and enjoyed it very much. As a parent that is all I want!

As for the relationship with my wife, we did not take that much relational time as we should have. Yet after 17 years I still love my wife. Els let’s go dancing more in 2014.

We will be building a new home in 2014. I hope your life wil be as constructive.

Yves

Yesterday the Belgium program Volt had a small item about the walking desk. (Thank you Renaat Toppets for warning me)

 

Let’s do a perfection game on the program.

What I liked:

  • I learned about a company that is selling walking desks in Belgium
  • they let people of a callcenter, actually use the walking desk
  • they have multiple people talk about their experience.
  • they ask the physiotherapist the advantages and disavantages of a walkingdesk
  • they made the the health issues from sitting 8 hours clear
  • they compared sitting a lot and smoking

 

What I would have preferred:

  • They would let multiple people use it for a few days.
  • They make it clear how long the people talking used the desk.
  • Also let people who have are actually users of a walking desk. ( instead of the people who sale the walkdesk)
  • use the word walkingdesk (or treadmill desk) like the rest of the world and not use the local brand name WalkDesk
  • When the physiotherapist talks about the height problem, the height of the walking desk is adjusted, so that the desk is at the correct height for Tatyana.
  • some of the footage shows people walking faster then the minimum speed. I walk almost twice as fast as what they see
  • they use a desk with an electronic lift instead of a manual lift to adjust height.
  • Mark Tijsman would know that although the desk is big, he can have a build-in versions.
  • The computer screens where set up higher.

my experiences about my walking desk, can be found here.

 

 

 

While driving back from the first European IgSummit (Innovation Games) I was thinking about what I like about this event and what is my prefered event.

  • A 2 or 3 day event with maximum 200 (preferable 160) people
  • The event happens in a nice environment, not a chain hotel:
    • koningsteen
    • SeminarZentrum Rückersbac
    • the organizers are staying at the hotel(except if they live nearby)
    • I can arrive on the first day and leave on the last day without having to loose another night not at home
    • WIFI is everywhere available for free (except in the restaurant, then people should eat and talk to eachother )
    • Coffee and other beverages are available all the time for free
  • the people:
    • 30% of the people I have never met on or offline.
    • 30 % of the people I only met online and never yet met offline.
    • 30 % I have met before.
    • 30 to 60 % of the participants are female.
    • 30 % of the organizers are female.
    • 30 % of the participants are not from the country the conference takes place.
    • 30 % of the organizers are parents.
    • 30 % of the organizers are single.
    • 30 % of the organizers are new to the organizer team.
    • 30 % of the participants are active developers
  • Start the day with a healthy breakfast.
  • at the start of the conference the law of two feet and other OpenspaceTechnology idea’s are explained and people are encouraged to use it all the time
  • a 30 minutes “keynote” from ThoughtJockeys. I have nothing against thoughtleaders, yet I prefer to learn from people who implement the idea’s from thoughtleaders and mix it with other stuff. Only 30 minutes as this forces people to prepare really well and to concentrate what they want to say. After that I want this keynote speaker to propose a OpenSpace Session in the afternoon, to have discussions about his idea’s.
  • Funny OHMPs (Official Half minute presentations about the talks)
    • a break of 20 minutes.
    • 6 x 15 min talks in 4 break out rooms.
    • announced 5 minutes breaks in between, so that people in the hall ways know when the next talk starts.
    • a one hour walking dinner:

      • that has food for everyone: vegies, carnivors, cheese lovers, allergic people etc…
      • people can take the food from different tables, not one or two lines.
    • a few 3 minutes lightning talks (without slides) in the mainroom.  No talks decided up front, no breaks
    • the rest of the afternoon, open space market
    • the event has a program for the children of the attendees. The childrens program is as much about fun as it’s about learning (just like the adults event)
    • the keynote speaker  of the first day has to deliver a workshop to teach the children what he talked the first day.
    • dinner with a stranger in the evening
    • second day keynote is delivered by a child, paired up with either a parent or another child.
    • rest of the day is like the first day
    • if a 3 day event, the second evening we do 3 hour games night
    • we end the last night (before the last day) with meetup at a karaoke bar where people use text related to the event instead of the original song lyrics.
    • At the end of the event a 30 minute keynote from a thoughtjockey that was at the event all the time and that has created a presentation, mixing thing she learned at the event
    • if the first keynote speaker was female, the closing one has to be male.
    • books:
      • everyone brings one book to the event and that is used in a swashbook reading session
      • a local book shop sells books, with a lot of books available of the speakers and participants
      • Authors offer Faq sesions on their books
    • During the full event an application is being developed that is put into production using contiunous delivery. The developer table is in the middle of the conference and dashboards about the application are visible at every location of the conference.
  • Feedback:

 

 

Yes I know this is THE list of the ideal conference for me. I am very well aware this is the blue sky scenario and these are only MY idea’s.
(Hey it is my blog )

One of my main drivers to start my own company was that I wanted more training than my previous employers gave me.
For 15 years I had a rule that I invested 10 to 20% of my revenue in training.
It was a combination of reading books, evening events, conferences, training & coaching.

The last years I have added community activities to that. I have learned a ton from creating

and mostly the teams that helped me with them.

Actually, I learned so much by working with great teams and their trust, that I decided that the next years, I want to experiment with how I will learn new things.

I want to learn by doing, instead of purchasing training. I will be helping multiple teams or organisations for a short while. This means I will contact companies that work in special ways or are doing stuff in a creative way. My current idea is to do actual work for them for a week.

Last week I came up with the name Au-PairCoaching for this and then asked on twitter what that made people think:

Here are the reactions:

Nicole Rauch: To me that sounds as if the coach would move into my house and live with me for a while.

 

  • Holger Oem: The coach is very young, has no experience on his job but is willing to do anything to help
  • Zurcherart: 19 year old learning a foreign language by coaching your children
  • George Dinwiddie Someone cheap to spend all their time babysitting the children (development team) for years.
  • Leo Exter :  Um. The stuff cheap-and-nasty romance novels are filled with.
  • RonJeffries: A young woman who doesn’t speak my language, won’t watch the kids very well and will get mixed up with my husband.

 

 

Nicole reaction, was in sync with what I thought. It’s not moving in in your house, yet moving in with your team/company.

Holger’s reaction is both good and bad.
– Although I still see myself as young, I doubt my children agree with that.
– I do have experience, I actually think I will bring lots of value.
– yes, I come to learn at the same time
– yes, I am willing to anything to help

Steve’s (Zurcherart) reaction makes me think, I burned down my parents’ house at 19. Not sure you want that 19 year old person in your company ;-)
I consider working people as adults, I don’t want to treat them as children.
I want to learn, yet more the company culture then the language.

George reaction: mmm, not really want to be seen as cheap, usually people don’t listen to people they consider cheap consultants.

Leo’s reaction: I wonder if that is good or bad. these novels are popular.

Ron’s answer is really disturbing. (Thanks Ron, I like it when people push me.)
The part about not speaking the language will be true most of the times. I might miss local nuances. (It’s the main reason why we say that a CoachRetreat is done in the local language.)
I really want to do the job well. I wonder, is this the general experience with au-pairs or just rumors?
The last part; it took me 16 years to convince my wife to ask me to marry her. I’m not going to jeopardize our relation buy fooling around. And I doubt that is what au-pairs actually do. (Although It might be a secret wish of some men hiring an au-pair.) I will check with my wife to see if she has some similar concerns.

Do you know of other people doing this?
When I asked for help on the draft of this talk, I learned about a people who did something similar.

 

So Yves, how is your initiative different, how is it unique?

  • I’m talking about coaching, while most others was about programming
  • I have 3 children (and a lovely wife) that I want to give a lot of love, attention and support. This means I don’t want to go away for months in row. Just like with the training I want to replace, it’s maximum 1 week every 2 months.
  • I will be picky on the companies I pick. I want them to be a-typical. As I will have regular clients at the same time, I can afford that.
  • With that family to support, I won’t work for free
  • I will do paircoaching: One of the things I am really careful about is so called seagull coaching. dropping some shit on a team and moving on without seeing the consequences.
  • I give freelifetime support in this week
  • As I haven’t been part of what the others done, I don’t know, all the differences. I will write about it at the end.

 

Do you care if people are actually using what you are saying? You said it was about learning, so if you learned something and the company is not taking your advice, are you happy?

Great question.
Yes, it’s about learning, but learning as a coach: when I learn something that clients don’t use, I have not really learned anything. One thing that is constant in my life, is that I want to become more effective. Also  as coach. Not learn fake stuff, this is partly why this works better than training, I still have to be able to use what I learned in real life. In that sense, my learning will also be verifying assumptions that I already have.
or as Nicole rephrased it so nicely:
“Your notion of ‘learning success’ is when you learn something new, apply it and see that the other person reacts in a way that they feel helped. Of course, then you need the other person to be interested in what you are applying.”

 

You are talking about learning and you still want to earn money with it. Isn’t this some cheesy marketing scheme?

That is a hard question and one I have been struggling with for a while.
Let’s start by making clear, this is not about finding new regular clients. I will keep doing the work I am normally doing. For my clients in Belgium. If this blogpost is related to marketing, it’s about finding companies that I could learn from. The companies I am looking for, are different than my usual clients, if only because they are outside Belgium. For full transparency, the first of these companies I have already contacted and they have said yes. I will be helping them in October. After I come back to Belgium, I will do a retrospective with the coaches I have helped and plan a next iteration with another company.

The money part: can I charge for learning?
When I was at university, I had a friend who was studying at the conservatory. He practised playing guitar on the streets. earning money while he practised. He even told me, it helped him to practise longer and better. As long as he brought people value, they paid. I think that was smart. I’m sure you can find people around you that earn money while this perfecting their craft.
Update: It took me a while to realize his money scheme was different. His “customers” pay after the delivery of the songs. And they decide how much they will pay, after he has delivered. I will experiment with that.

 

Will you always move to the country, what about distributed teams?
Good question. I just finished reading: A year working without Pants from Scott Berkun. A wonderful book. In 2005 I was coaching an agile team that was distributed : partly in Belgium, partly in Yekatarinaburg. I loved doing that. I am interested in helping out a full distributed team like Berkun did. On top of it, it would be nice if I can work full time on my walking desk.

What do you hope to learn?

  • My current modus operandi; is to do long term assignments. I observe teams for a week and only then start giving ideas. Working for one week, I will need to change that.
  • Most of the companies that are calling for help are companies that want to change the way they are working. You can see it as a therapist helping people in trouble. I want now to work with companies that are doing great and that I will help to become even better.
  • I don’t know what I don’t know…

From the twitter remarks, it’s clear that the name au-pairCoaching is not the best name.
Will you help me find another name?

Current proposals:

  • BYOC (Bring your own Coach)
  • CoachOnTour
  • JourneymanCoach: invented by Olaf Lewitz
  • JourneyCoach: invented by Olaf Lewitz
  • CoachOnJourney
  • Distributed Coach
  • Remote Coach: invented by Olaf Lewitz
  • StageCoach: invented by Martine Vos
  • CollaborationArchitect: now used as part of Innovation Games certifications
  • CollaborationCoach
  • RemoteCollaborationArchitect
  • RemoteCollaboration
  • RemoteCollaborationCoach
  • CreativeCollaborationAgent: this is the name I have been using for a while…

Update:
After some soulsearching and discussing with friends. I decide to use Remote Coach. It fits well in all situations.

Do you know companies I should do this with?
Please tell me